i'm an emotional wreck. yup, it's christmas.

yesterday when i was running, i started thinking: i'm going to give my new niece my favorite children's book of all time. what will I write in it? as I ran round the bouncy green loop of my gym, i had these little fantasies of writing this inspirational message about how much I love her and how lucky our family is to have her, and how maybe the message would change everything with my little brother; how maybe he'd drop all grudges he has with his brothers and sister and we could really be one happy family. he'd see that the only reason i'm giving Isabelle that book is because it only reminds me of how lucky i am to have the family that I have, and that when she's my age and thinks of the book she'd feel the same. i'd pull my brother aside and say "Richie - how could you have our uncle be her Godparent when nobody can love that little girl more than your two brothers and sister? when will you learn that having a little girl means dropping all your grudges and doing what's best for her - and that means letting her whole heartily being part of our lives...'cause we love her so, so much...the same way we love you!" and in this fantasy, he's shake his head in agreement and hug me and it'd be magical and perfect and beautiful.
as i ran around the track, i welled up a little bit thinking of how much i love this little person, and all the little people in my life (not the midgets i've not yet
befriended, but specifically my nephews and nieces.)
that's when I realized "yup, it's christmas."
then this morning i'm walking from the train to work, and i get all warm and gushy feeling inside. and then I think...yup, it's christmas.
walking into the lobby of my building - there's men and women hustling and bustling about - rushing to send last minute packages. some have little roller suitcases, obviously departing today, homebound for what all are hoping is the most magical christmas ever. Coldplay's cover of the Pretender's "2000 miles" comes on - I quickly change it for fear that I might start sobbing out of happiness in the work lobby.
that's how much of a wreck i am. but it's a good kind of wreck.
but wait, there's more.
in the midst of my morning routine (check e-mail, cnn.com, etc.) i stumble on this. i've kind of been keeping track of Youssif on cnn.com, but today i read more about it than usual. his mom wrote a letter to CNN...I'm not going to explain it - just read.

letter from Youssif's Mom

it's amazing, isn't it? if only we all could be this thankful for what we have, but we all have so, so much.
if you're reading this - you have access to the internet - which means that you either have it at home, or have it at a job, or are near a public library where you can use the internet for free and check out so much free literature to last you a lifetime. or, you might be at a coffeeshop enjoying an indulgent treat. i suppose you could be at an airport waiting to go home to your family for Christmas.
which, my friends, means you have so much more that most of the world.
and you're child didn't have to go through what Youssif did for you to realize it.
you're family is near, not in a country that now alienates you.
you live in a country that would do what they did for Youssif.
and you know what i realized while reading this? about this little that has touched so many? that he's not much older than a baby that was born some two thousand years ago. that - like Youssif - this little baby was from the same part of the world. that like Youssif, he knew no more than what good was, just like Youssif. that he forgave because that's all he knew to do. that he was the most innocent little baby born of all time, and that it's a little baby born two thousand years ago that makes me swell up with love and thankfulness this time of year anytime I remotely feel loved or see love.
that there is a reason for the season, and it's the baby Jesus.
our God. our Saviour.
But there is something funny about the phrase "our God" isn't there? did you catch it? in the letter from Youssif's mother, she "thanks God." Did that phrase throw you? did you imagine a different God just because she's from Iraq (and Muslim?)
i assume not.
what does that mean?
i know what it means to me. it means we're all in this together.
Christmas may be a christian holiday, the season belongs to everybody.
because it's all about love and togetherness. and that my friends is universal.
be thankful for it.
because in this part of the world, we are all so, so blessed.
merry christmas.

definitely puts a smile on my face.

i've been anticipating this since...well, batman begins.



love you Christian. Love you Heath. Love you Maggie.
if you haven'te yet...please enjoy...or else.

lend me your ears - finer double niner of double 'o seven

hello friends. so, as everyone gears up to do their year end top wudeva's of 2007, I thought it only be fair (and good for you) to share what my ear's 've been loving for the last twelve months.

18. Hard-Fi - Once Upon A Time In The West | Oi! Hard-Fi should not be on this list. They got egomeniacal. They got more poppy. They lost their momentum. And I agreed with the critics when I got the disc and was doing my "research." But then dammit, that synthesized horn section popped in my head, and I agreed "I can't get along without you" Hard-Fi...and suddenly my favorite band of 2006 popped into my head for the last quarter of 2007. Fine, you win this one, but dammit, go get some eyeliner and bitch about gritty central london, or America or something, because it's obvious things are pretty okay in the burbs.


17. The Pigeon Detectives - Wait For Me | I'm pretty sure this isn't out in the states yet, but the Pigeon Detectives - well, beyond having a great band name, are the catchiest punk rock you've heard in a while. And no, not in the lame way that all the other critics loosley call sad bands like fall out boy and their dumb ass radio spawn, but in a genuine gritty, anti-man anti-woman way. Punk how I think it was intended, or at least the way 2007 intended it to be (even if it didn't turn out that way.)

16. Division Day - Beartrap Island | I just got this disc about two weeks ago and it's since taken over my iPod...always playing and going on repeat and making my fingers select it fist thing in the morning...because it's haunting and interesting sounding and spit in two. The first half of the disc is hard and uncatchy. The second, mellow and enticing. Really, Beartrap Island is surprsing, though I can't say why. I think maybe it's because it's a fantastic disc, but their concert would have to work a lot harder. Yet, I have faith it would. And I'd be more than happy to shell out ten bucks to prove it for them.

15. The Arctic Monkeys - My Favourite Worst Nightmare | I so didn't buy this album when it came out, though I ordered their first as an import 'cause of the hype. And while I liked disc #1, a disc that comes out a mere year later didn't really entice me. And I didn't really give it a second thought. But when my friend Joe asked me if I wanted his extra ticket and I accepted, I saw them and it all changed. The Arctic Monkeys no longer have anything to prove to me. Some think 'Favourite Worst Nightmare' is overproduced. I disagree. I think their first was underproduced and overhyped. What Favourite proves is that the Arctic Monkeys are a raw, gritty group of english boys who certainly smoke and drink too much, but who take making fabulous rock music very seriously. And they'd like you to listen. Because they're not an internet gig. They're the Arctic Monkeys. And fuck you, they're here to stay.

14. The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible | I love the Arcade Fire. I love that I overhyped this album to myself. I love that they get in my head all the time for no reason. I love that the lead singer is really unattractive. I love that they went straight to number one giving big record labels the finger that they've never been given before. I love that it's not as catchy as "The Funeral" but equally as daring, more political, and so much about America despite their Canadian nationality. And I love that it's not at the top of my list, but at a much more stable #14.

13. The Great Northern - Trading Twilight for Daylight | Maybe had I seen these guys instead of Pela on a stormy night in July they'd be at the top of my list. But instead, I'll settle with putting them at number 13. Why do I heart the Great Northern? Well, beyond the fact that they're a very good New Pornographer's knock off (that is a compliment) they aren't catchy - and yet, still I listen to them over and over. They are a stormy summer nights soundtrack - but only if the windows are closed and the A/C is on high. Songs of the seasonal variety I suppose, the Great Northern continue to find melodies and a sweet blend of male/female vocals that each lyric tells a story that isn't so much logical as it is medicinal. Wanna escape for just a bit - put this shit on repeat and take the train to the end of the line...that's when you'll find yourself home.

12. Rilo Kiley - Under the Blacklight | Damn you Rilo Kiley! Why do you have to be so good. You were on all the covers. You were playing in London when I was there. You were suppose to be the next Fleetwood Mac. I heard you, and I wasn't impressed. And then I heard you one more time. And I was hooked. Damn, you put out a damn good album...your best to date. And you made me love you. Because you're dreamscapes made me listen. You're like a liquor commercial with meaning...or heart...or thought, only better...because once I actually get my hands on what you're saying, I'm instantly drunk with love for you. Damn you Rilo Kiley. I don't care that you sound like Stevie Nicks without witchcraft...I'm under your spell.

11. Calla - Strength In Numbers | This band gets darker, catchier, and more productive with each disc. I don't really know how to describe these guys. I want to say that they're so, so angry. But they're not. I think they're music serves as a warning to us all that without bands like them, pop-princesses will take over. If music had it's own personal rapture, we would surely be left behind, but Calla would be taken...because they are pure rock - absent of influences apparent in their sound and giving in each song, humble on stage. There's a very good reason Interpol decided to have them open for them on their tour - 'cause Calla fucking rocks.

10. The Dark Romantics - Some Midnight Kisses | Perhaps the most snubbed band of 2007, The Dark Romantics ladies and gentlemen. No, but seriously - not great reviews, post Christian rock band. Yeah, makes you want to listen...but, you really should. They're dark...there sound taking one step back from ripping Radiohead off the way Ours does...and they're married...so how too couples so in love could make a CD this sad kind of makes me love it more. They are dark. They are romantic. They are damn good. And you will love them in 2008. Because twenty years ago would've...and twenty years ago is older and wiser than you.

9. Datarock - Datarock | If you're happy and you know it, put red hooded jumpsuits and matching sunglasses on and clap your hands. And listen to the disc. And dance...a lot - to the orgasmic sound of talking heads making love to devo while the comodore 64 beeps in the background. Datarock rocks indeed...in my opinion, making LCD Soundsystem sound like a fool.

8. Fields - Everything Last Winter | I only got this disc about a month ago...what the fuck was I thinking...it came out in May. How did I miss it? Thank goodness it somehow seeped into my line of hearing...this band is just good. A little Radiohead, a little doves, a little Echo and a little shoegaze, fields does everything I want an album to do - catch my breath, make me hold it, and then give me mouth to mouth. Because it seems the second I stop listening to these Brit's disc, it somehow seeps into my blood like a nicotine patch 'causing vivid daydreams just as warned.

7. Band of Horses - Cease To Begin
The only thing surprising is that these South Carolina via Seattle transplants aren't at the top of my list. Sorry for that. But, know that 'Cease To Begin' is amazing. It won't change your life like 'Everything All The Time' will, but that's because that's the charm of 'Everything.' 'Cease simply takes that life and makes it worth living. There's a few verses missing ("Is there a ghost?" could use a few more words) and some songs are a little too slow for anybody's own good (happily admitted by the band at their shows) but the sexiness of the remaining tunes make Cease well deserving of being in your grasp - though I still have a hard time grasping how the lead singer's voice does what it does while he just stands there and blows your mind when live.

6. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future - Nu Rave? They dubbed this genre of music out of wry british humor, but it caught on. And then so did they. And then the album came out and I was kind of blown away (though the only one I knew.) But seriously kids, it's sounds like it's from outerspace...or at least like it was a rave song that NIN remixed, sent to outer space and had aliens once again remix before sending back.
Superior intelligence? I think so.
There's a reason they won the Mercury Music Award for the year, fuckers.

5. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81
I don't know why I love B.R.M.C. I don't know why 'Weapon of Choice' makes me angry. But it makes me run harder. I don't know why this album was snubbed by Pitchfork when it's really truly amazing. No, it's not as good as 'Howl', but it's damn near close. And Black Rebel Motorcycle Club continue to be gritty, sexy, southern rocky inspiration from the west who's lyrics are full and honest without being in your face. But they make you listen. And if you're like me and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club are nothing you'd ever really listen to because they like to wear tall black military boots - well, I just bought a pair. Because this band is pure rock without any filter. Out of L.A. Who would've thunk it.


4. Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga | Mostly it's the meshing of every sound ever made that goes into 'Ga Ga Ga Ga'...no wait, mostly it's that "Underdog" has the catchiest horn section since the 60s...no wait, mostly it's that while I always liked spoon, and Britt Daniels' with his big sunglasses and freak flag I'd like to wave for him, Spoon finally got an A+ on the test - every song is perfect...there's not one that I hear and think can be improved. This album, I would prefer, should not be remixed. Ever. So good.


3. The Mary Onettes - The Mary Onettes | So I was watching this TV show, and within the episode was a tv show pilot. And there was a redhead in it driving a convertible to LA. And on the radio was what I first thought was a song by New Order that was really good and that I had never heard. But no. It was these guys. And they're from Sweeden. And they're straight from the 80s. And they'll kick your favorite 80's inspired new wave wannabee's album's ass.
Give it a whirl - who knows if these guys will ever blow up. They deserve to. But I don't know if the world is ready for a 100% quality 80s album (meaning more than 1 radio ready hit) that's dark and actually produced in 2007. But considering that I forgot to blog about what I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving, add these guys to that list.

2. Rosebuds - Night of the Furies | Album comes out. I'm very excited. I give it a listen. And another. And another. Nothin'. And then, somehow, someway, something clicks. And I love every song to bits and pieces. But Night of the Furies is quite, er, very different than the Rosebuds past 3 albums. It's darker. And dancier. And faster. And slower. I wouldn't say our friends the Rosebuds reinvented themselves, but man did they create a damn good album that I keep going back to, and thus, back to the Rosebuds themselves. Like a choose your own adventure story, there's something new to Discover in Furies...only it's so much bigger - because past volumes are used in the story the Rosebuds have chosen to share as well.Oh yeah, and then there was the concert. Top five of all time. That's a huge deal. They were amazing, but that's not why I chose them. Here's me and my friend Andy and the lead singer Ivan (in the hat) after the show.





1. Pela (pronounced Pay-La) - Anytown Grafitti | You may or may have not have heard of these Brooklynites, but these guys are the next big band...or at least they should be. I randomly stumbled upon these guys on emusic and didn't pay much attention. but, in my book, when you hear a song for the first time and suddenly am struck by it - to the point where you'll always remember where you were when you heard it, it's a good tune. (Thank you Deserts Not A Desert at All.) Fortunately in my case, the whole album rocked. Then, I had the pleasure of seeing them in July...After the Decemberists in Millennium Park Who had played with the Orchestra for free with the skyline and a lightning storm as the backdrop.
Yet, Pela at Schubas managed to drastically overshadow the Decemberists (and transcend my literally soaked clothing flirting with pneumonia via an over excited air conditioner.) Seemingly a bunch of kids on stage, the band played nearly every song in their catalogue and sweat their asses off to the tune of "Oh God Chicago, it sucked the last time we were here. But not now, this rocks." My friend Sarah has already messaged them via myspace to offer her apartment/couch to them next time their in town...and yes, I'll be part of that scheme. But beyond their good looks, VH1 storytellers approach to performing, and amazing sound from a concept so junior, these guys certainly come off as the hardest working band in America. Bruce Springsteen, eat your heart out.

perhaps I don't know myself as well as I thought I did...

though I like this self that the sundance channel defines:





coming soon: my top multiples of nines for 2007. get pumped. lists are fun.

visions of snowball glass candle holders and glitter trees dancing in my head

also, I wanted to share the Christmas pretties I got for my place this last friday...
the first being my christmas tree. the CB2 glitter tree is actually among the only silver trees I've ever seen that I can honestly say isn't tacky (meaning it evokes Christmas in Helsinki instead of Hammond Indiana circa 1939). simple, tasteful, and perfect for a guy like me living all lonesome by himself.

the second, (and probably actually cooler) is the snowball glass candle holder from CB2 that I got. while a small accent, after lighting it up today for the first time, it really does look like a melting ice cube, and the flame from the candle dance a little more delicately even...i'm thiking about getting a few more, because at five bucks, they're totally worth it.

and you should too. just try not to be distracted by all the other beautiful things. (cb2.com)

late night duel-action cleanse, anyone?

while i intended on going to bed at 11pm, damn facebook/myspace stole my attention and we're now fast approaching half-past midnight.
the point being that the tv caught my attention when some devilish man started (and I'm kind of appauled but amused) talking about parasites in your colon, his children's bowel movements, fecal matter in stored fat, and "internal cleansing's link to anti-aging and a flatter abdomen."
awesome.
so this is the shit (no pun intended, literally) that they run after everybody's going to bed from a long weekend of eating and drinking. so of course they need to detoxify their system.
it's an infomercial about pooping!
this has to be in the book of Revelations.
i'm sure these dudes sold their souls to Satan.

song of the day (i gotta remember to do this with each post, dammit): back in your head (pretty violent Michael Skype remix) - Tegan and Sarah

so impressed (with myself)

wow. so what's almost as cool as being impressed with myself is the fact that the headline looks (sounds?) like some bad emo song title. ha.
you know, 'cause I'm so emo.
anyway, I like to think I"m a pretty modest person, but for now, I'm gonna brag. And here's why:
those who know me know that in the last year(ish) I've really gotten into running, etc.
well, tonight I decided to time my mile - just to see how fast I could run one.
the last time I tried a timed mile, I'm pretty sure it took me 12 or 13 minutes to run it (and I'm pretty sure that was in Junior High.)
tonight, I impressed (and shocked) myself with a 00:06:52 mile. WHAT? WTF? I had no idea. and I kept running afterward (though only to four miles instead of seven - i think i need new running shoes.)
so now, I"m pretty sure I'll keep trying to beat that time.
this could cement my obsession with the jog.
marathon next fall anyone?
keep your fingers crossed.

oh yeah, and then I came home to find out urban outfitters put my coat on clearance for half off. and another one that I wanted too. so i ordered both. bad, but hey, it's not like I'll be paying any more.

what a good day. i look forward to tomorrow, pretty much oblivious to the fact that it's a friday.

an el of a place for a phone conversation.

tonight on my way home from book club, I was talking to my friend Jenny. I sat down when I got in the train, looking straight forward, paying attention to no one but the person on the other line.
as i'm in mid sentence, Jenny says "Who is that person next to you? They are so loud!"
I glanced to my left to meet eyes with this young lady.



immediately, I bust out laughing. and with out revealing our topic of conversation, I said something like "I wish I had a picture."
she proceeded to do a whole "Oooo, is that one of them iPhones. Motherfuckers' do everything, don't they?" I smiled and nodded yes.
she responds "Yeah, I got two phones - that way they do everything too."
I just smiled.
she was actually nice, which made me feel even worse about snapping some photos of her without her knowing.
lets just say i'm not making fun of her.
okay, I am. but lets not call me shallow.

harvest 2007

You gotta love middle America.
If advertising doesn't work, shots of dead deer certainly will.
Apparently this is how to make a man to smile.
It definitely made me laugh.

yet another instance

The newscast from the previous post. You'd think we'd gone to war with Iowa.

in Nebraska, football is bigger than God

9:30 AM Saturday November 21st.

After another loss against Colorado, Bill Calahan, the head coach of the University of Nebraska, was fired.

In the car on the way to Omaha, I waas literally husted to silence by my mother as the announcment was made on the radio. In a state this small, this is a very big deal. Because despite what Nebraska's conservative Christian population (including my father) would say, there is no president; god is dead.

Long live coach Tom Osbourne - interim UNL Athletic director.

That's what they wanted all along anyway.

Dumbasses.

one reason I love my name.

I was seven when it came out.
Twelve when I noticed it.
Eighteen when it stirred something deep within my soul.
Today, U2's the Joshua Tree turns 20.
And at twenty-seven I can still say "the Joshua Tree" is one of U2's best, if not their best. And forever a favorite of mine.
One of the reasons: my favorite song of all time is on that CD. I feel the need to share it with you all. It's sad, and Bono's voice can nearly bring me to tears with each "I'm haning on...you're all that's left to hold on to."
I often feel I know what he means.
More exciting probably than anything else is that apparently 'Red Hill Mining Town' was to be the lead single off the Joshua Tree, but was scrapped. A video was filmed but never released (or at least I've never seen it.)
Now, it's included on the remastered version, and on YouTube under U2's official page.
I'm thinkin' Thanksgiving came early this year.
Enjoy!

Band of Horses - at the Metro

Right now. Sent from my iPhone. Sweet, right?

My first bridge lift (testing, testing)

Check it out. I was kind of dumbfounded by its scale and how quiet it
was. I'm sending this from my mobile so hopefully it works.

my cock is more scarey than your face

ahh, halloween. the only time of year when you can be mistaken for a retard and not be completely insulted by it (if not complimented instead). myself? i'm a firm believer that looking completely like a fucktard is what we should all strive for on days like these. and with the exchange rate of the dollar vs. pretty much the rest of the world being totally fucked up, you really have to work hard to get your dollar to go far. my recomendation: intead of opting for the adult clichés, go for the childrens' instead and really stretch your dollar. i managed to fit into this jolly green giant costume (childrens large) and not only did I terrify the woman unfortunate enough to have her head at croch level with my junk on the bus, but I also was mistaken for peter pan, puck of "mid summer nights dream" fame, and the statue of liberty. it doesn't get much better than that.

for your eggzamination: why America is dying.

When will it stop?

Story Highlights:
• Hardee's new breakfast burrito contains 920 calories, 60 grams of fat
• 2 egg omelets, bacon, sausage, ham, cheddar, hash browns, sausage gravy
• Nutritionist: burrito has half a day's calories, full day's worth of saturated fat, salt

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/diet.fitness/10/15/big.breakfast.burrito.ap/index.html

he said / he said / he said / she said

I'd like to recount for you a conversation between my friend Jon and I. It could've turned into a little girly fight, but didn't. And it's one of those things that funny to me, but not to you. I just thought I'd share. So you can not laugh.

----

As I exited the bowling alley - still drunk on the glory of two of three game scores over one hundred - I turned the corner. Did Jon and Sarah acutally literally run so to avoid giving me a ride to the train stop. Well fuck them, then. I will take the bus. Just like I did to get there.

Then a giggle. Sarah was around the corner.

I went to see what all the fuss was about and saw Jon standing there. I would've mistaken him for lighting a cigarette, his posture the same as when he used to light 'em up for a smooth finish to any occasion. But it's been a year since he last habitually smoked. It was gum.

I looked at him and said "You didn't put your ball away."

He looked at me, my commentary obviously guff to whatever he was momentarily thinking. "Why didn't you put mine away?"

"Because I had my hands full with my shoes and my ball." Flashbacks of sanitary differences in communinal living ran through my head. I'm sure there was a crooked smile on my face.

"It would've taken you another two seconds."

My eyes thinned. "What are you doing?"

Momentary pause. Jon whirled past me to put away his own crap. The guilt of not putting it away myself could've oh so quickly consumed me in petty self-dispute. Instead, my defenses were up. I had, afterall, been the son of a mother in a catholic family.

I rolled my eyes and watched Sarah conclude her phone call. Her date for the evening had called to cancel.

"Why do I always meet the weirdos or people with issues?"

Jon, Ally, and I just stood there and stared at her, each waiting to receive their own accusation.

----

Song of the Day: "Waiting for a Girl Like You" by Foreigner.

someone find a priest.

"uht oh" I said to myself as I crossed the avenue, skies clouded with only part of what you'll find in a cigarette. I patted my abdomen almost as if I had lost my keys or wallet or some other item of value. "fuck."

what was I do to do? no. no! this is not an excuse to pick up a suitable, though be it evil replacement - a cigarette.

i ignored my body's plea to return north and restore this meek effervescent of a patch. i entered work and ignored my job too.

suddenly the day spiraled out of control. my attention span was non-existent. as I accused one creative director of being an asshole for not getting me a diet pepsi as well - though he had no idea that I wanted one, and no reason to buy me one.

that was only after I firmly told an admin that he was stupid. granted I was kidding, but only today would people question my level of sarcasm or hate.

shortly after lunch, a co-worker approached me to say something that I promptly disregarded. I looked him up and down. "I appreciate your blazer over the tee-shirt look."

"Thanks" he said, smiling, thrilled at a compliment from someone as blatantly cool as myself.

"Did banana republic have a clearance sale?" I responded.

He stared at me from under his ball cap. "Fuck you." He chased me down the hallway for a small spell, myself giggling like a school girl only to disguise my fear of a dude plenty bigger than me, though not known to be of the violent type.

Still, earlier I tried playing a set of mind games with a friend only to discover that I had no idea as to what the point of those games were or how to win them, or that I was even playing them.

Later, I wrote to a friend, in a shortened version "we should reconnect. I miss you." in the queerest of ways on the queerest of places - through myspace messaging.

and while the day has gone way without shakes, anxiety, or losing my job, let me leave you with this: don't ever fucking tell me it's not that hard to quit smoking or I will pull your stomach through your throat and stuff it with cabbage before shoving it up your ass.

right now, that patch is my best friend.

and I hate you.

brought to my attention...

that I posted "Gimme More" as the song of the day Tuesday, September 27th, 2007.

I received a comment from a reader that stated "Seriously? Joshua." in a scolding matter. Which completely reminded me that I forgot to post something last night (too consumed with my new pants, Gossip Girl, and buffalo chicken stips) - (okay, this officially just became the gayest post ever.)

So consider this morning's post last nights.

First off, it was a song of the day. Yes, it's not that I'm going to retract that thought, because it was OF THE DAY. I'm already sick of it and think that America probably is too. Actually, no. My intelligence is far superior to the average American. While I can admit to what is a catchy toon (while other's, too caught up in their "I'm too indie for my shirt" can not) I can also admit when it's time is passed. Gimme More officially passed at 9:05am Wednesday, September 26th. R.I.P.

Yesterday's song of the day was actually an album: Under the Blacklight by Rilo Kiley. While I heard the disc a couple of times in early September and has dismissed it as "an interesting album with four really good songs" I've since changed my opinion and kind of can't stop listening to it. Even it's weirdest intricasies that I initially found to be, well, weird have grown on my and I regret my decision to not go see them in London or here. Boo.

Who know's what today's song of the day will be. Or if tonigt's post will be half as gay as the first half off this.

Wish me luck, as I hope it is not.

Dammit Readers, initially I thought you mean "Give me more of your blog. I love it!" but no such luck.

Like I said, it's a blog about nothing. Give it a few month and maybe you'll care. Bitch.

petition for the de-commercialization of focus groups.

Tuesday night and i have a blister on my left thumb from the Pop tart that just attacked me. Chocolate cravings attack, and lately there's no fighting back. I'm pretty sure it's due to the lack of cigarettes...that's just about it - though I think it's calming down.

Oh, what a day. Despite my hopes and dreams, my blood work came back and I am not an alcoholic. So one more month of non-binge drinking for us all. I say "us all" because well, if I'm not drinking, you aren't either. Damn, that's one good open bar come Saturday put to waste.
So today was alright. Nothing too drastic. Got some work done, watched the best week ever, found a pair of jeans on sale for $12. It really wasn't anything too major.

BUT that doesn't mean anything didn't happen yesterday - beyond TV that is.
What I'm bitching about tonight is focus groups. Evil, evil focus groups. Once again, I had some work die at the merciless 45 something "professionals" of America. Excuse me Mrs. Suburban Overweight Unimaginative? What's wrong?Can't relate to anywhere but your couch or your office which surely consists of a vending machine, half drank diet pepsi and constant judgments on those who pass by? Too fucking bad.

If this is the state of America, we're fucked. You'd think we've made great ground since 1960 (see: Mad Men) but maybe we haven't. I know women are so, so far from being as stupid as these bitches that 1. Try to make a living off of being focus group professions, 2. Say only what they think the client wants to hear (whom the client then takes as truth and agrees that it is indeed what they want to hear,) 3. Try to "help" by giving ideas about as creative as a seaside portrait on clearance at a starving artists sale at the Motel 8 and 4. Take this as the most important time for them to really say what's on their mind since they probably go home to husbands that don't want to hear that crap. Sad. Really Sad.

The question being: am I cursed? Will I ever have any work produced, or will I be fired from my job b/c I'm not doing much for 'em (in terms of production value?) Time will tell. I hope not. I don't think so. I have to keep the faith. Eventually, something kick ass is gonna happen. It's gotta.

Oh, and Reaper was pretty freakin' good. Funny. Really, really curious as to what they'll be doing with the season.

I love tv. but you knew that then didn't you.
I wonder if they do focus groups for TV shows. Probably not the good ones. The ones that get cancelled. Where are the americans that appreciate good things - like good tv spots? i don't know if they live all out east, or what. but if you're one, please let me know.

alright, that's all for the night. keep the faith, losers. otherwise life is cursed after all.

song of the day: "Gimme More" by Britney Spears. I'm not saying she's a good mother, or talented, or as hot as she used to be, but this song: catchy. I'm sure it's one verse (something about flashing cameras and gimme something - I think more) will storm the charts for a while and be thumpin in the clubs till at least thanksgiving. and no, I'm not being sarcastic.

Tomorrow: abusive drugs and their friend's habits. I'll be talking in code about my friend that reminded me that he got my post card where I wrote to him about the teenage lesbian folk club at an airport overseas. they were crying. it was funny.

life on the fringe

Find out what it's really like. As currently seen in Creativity Magazine. Yeah, maybe I'm not in there for my work, but I'm in there.

tv keeps me from masturbating.

Can you smell that? It's premier week. Whether it be a nasty fart or a beautiful rose has yet to be determined. But there's potential there, you gotta admit.

You don't have to know me too well to know you that I'm a total TV junkie. It's too the point that three weeks ago, I quit smoking. To justify my saving of funds, I got cable. The angels sang and my DVR's been filling up quickly ever since.

To my joy, I discovered that the On-Demand for all the premium channels worked. That weekend (other than working) I did some catching up. Entourage (vague yay), Weeds Season 3 (Thunderous Roar) and watched the first few episodes of Tell Me You Love Me (WTF?) At first I enjoyed the real actors playing porn stars, but by episode 3, I was bored. Super.

Last Wednesday I watched Gossip Girl. i was a big fan of the O.C. and to a certain extent am still in mourning from it's passing last season. But maybe Josh Schwartz has put a butt-plug in that hole with this one. Basically, it's Cruel Intentions the TV show. I'll leave it at that. But will it be as funny as the O.C.? I doubt it. Will "best week ever" have a new O.C.? One episode in and they're already having a hay day.

Then this weekend happened, and I discovered what will probably be my new obsession for the year. Say hello to Mad Men. The story of a New York City advertising agency in 1960.

My God have we come far.

I'm well aware that this isn't real - though they do a fabulous job of bringing 1960 back to life - the beginning of public health vs. cigarette companies, the advent of creative advertising, the cultural melee we call feminism.

I know I work at an ad agency, but now that I think about, I don't think there is a better place to have social commentary on the times play out. It reflects American culture (both in and outside the advertising) and hit puberty at the exact same time America did.

The ship is ran by a bunch of sailors in suits, woman who got birth control were obviously whores, and the best way to sell something with with a big fat star burst and price. Puke.

The sad thing is that it's still there. Not in full force, though I suspect there's plenty of people who yearn for the good ol' days - even if they weren't there. Between the sexism, the battle between creative advertising and non, and secret affairs, it's all there. But it is fascinating. If you're not obsessed with it already, get goin' and join me. Thankfully, it's already been renewed for a second season.

Then tonight, there was the big premier of Heroes. Almost done with it, but pretty good. There, as always, is plenty that I can't figure out. But did anyone else notice that one of the spanish woman in the scene in the jungle with the military truck looks like Mary Kate and/or Ashley Olsen? Strange.

P.S. The girl that plays Claire Bennet (imdb: Hayden Panettiere) is apparently some sort of Hollywood Bad Girl. I hope Perez Hilton was being sarcastic. Anyway, it's good in true Heroes fashion.

Moving on. And then Prison Break (now on episode 2) - alright, so is this season all back in the Prison again? SOMA's pretty vicious, but I don't know...I think they're smarter than that. They always are. Keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't lose it's momentum - 'cause season 2 was awesome.

And then there was this guy.
Chuck. Perhaps the hit of the season? I loved it, but don't know if I can go that far. But it's funny, charming, and I have this feeling (no, not down there) that it'll be pretty action packed. The great thing that because it's funny, it has all the potential of doing an Alias on your ass, but also a little Hot Fuzz, etc. I don't think it'll reinvent the spy genre, but it'll certainly be a fresh twist.

Oh yeah, and Josh Scwartze (O.C./Gossip Girl) created this one too. Man's been busy. But it keeps me happy. The funny thing about Chuck is that it's like Seth Cohen (Adam Brody on the O.C.) grows up and gets a job as a computer geek only to have his college roommate send him an e-mail that mysteriously downloads all the U.S. governments big secrets into his head - like where they're going to blow up that Politician?

No, seriously...it's good.

Tomorrow, I'll blog about focus groups, lackadaisical interactive guys, and Reaper. Hopefully not all three will piss me off.

Today's Song of the Day: "Icarus" by the Hours from the album Narcissus Road.

Yeah, I bit you live there. Asshole.

the first. hopefully not the last. your everything..

Hi. So that's me. I can't figure out how exactly to put the picture in the little box, so I'm gonna put it here, and then put it there. You like that don't you? When I put it all over the place. I can't promise that this will be the most entertaining blog ever. But then, that's what life's all about - the lack of promises. Or at least broken promises. Ah, there now, I'm not a total pessimist. I'm quite the opposite actually. Hopefully you'll eventually see that.

Why Eye Heard to Much? 'Cause hopefully I'll tell you a lot more than you ever wanted to know - or cared about. And your eyes are how you hear on line. Get it? I'm very cleaver. Anyway, so let's make that my first post, but not today's post. Till a moment from now.

God, I'm hot.